Is it Necessary for Firing Someone to be a Painful Experience for Both You and Them

Is it Necessary for Firing Someone to be a Painful Experience for Both You and Them

Because of the recent events that occurred with two of my close friends, I felt compelled to write this post. Both of them had lost their jobs. One was because of what was seen to be poor performance (despite the fact that she had never been counseled and at the time was really absent due to illness), and the other was because the start-up institution she was working for abruptly shut down. Both of them had high management positions. Both of them were reliable and industrious workers, but they are fuming with rage at their former bosses and want to take legal action against them. Why are they getting so worked up? One explanation is that they have been laid off from their employment, which is a reasonable assumption to make given the circumstances. However, the fact that they were told of their firings via emails is the primary factor that has caused them to get angry and propelled them down the route of pursuing legal action (in both instances). That's correct. We communicate via email. They were never afforded the courtesy of speaking with someone face-to-face about the matter.

When confronted with the difficult task of terminating an employee, many managers either fail to remember or are just oblivious to the range of feelings experienced by the individual who is being let go from their position. They are also unaware of the behavior that most often emerges as a consequence of these feelings. It is widely established that the loss of a loved one, the dissolution of a marriage or other long-term relationship, and the termination of one's employment all have an equivalent and comparable effect on an individual's feelings. Consider for a second how you felt when you learned that one of your dearest friends or family had passed away due to an illness or accident.That is the exact same sensation that one gets when their employment is taken away from them in an unexpected and abrupt manner.

According to what we've learned from psychologists, there are five stages that people go through in what's known as the "grief cycle." These stages are as follows: denial; resistance (which frequently takes the form of anger); acceptance (of the situation as it is); exploration (of new opportunities); and commitment (to a new future). Is it possible to handle any of these feelings via email?

When I was a manager for the first time, I vividly remember being forced to let an employee go. I was terrified since it was because of my terrible performance. I couldn't sleep the night before because I was thinking about what I should say and how she would respond to it. 

The interview was scheduled for the morning, and I went into it with a lot of worry and trepidation. The interview was done, and I took a break for lunch, but I found that I was unable to eat. I do not know how the interview went, but I was glad when it was over. At the time, I was unaware of the "5 steps," and all I knew was that I had a responsibility to act in a manner that was both beneficial to the organization and to myself. When I returned from my break, I found a box of chocolates on my desk along with a really sweet message from the worker stating how much she valued my politeness and how much she enjoyed my assistance. I suppose that, based on my gut instinct, I must have done something well.

Thanks to my many years of managerial experience, I am familiar with two aspects of the firing process:

1. To begin, an individual must always do his or her best to preserve his or her sense of self-worth. This is one of the most fundamental and essential wants that each and every person has (emailing someone, or even worse, as I heard since starting this article, texting, sends a clear message that they are not worthy of a face-to-face discussion).

2. Realizing that everyone will go through the five stages of the grief cycle (quite often at different paces) is the second most important thing to keep in mind. As a manager, it is our role and responsibility to assist our employees in moving through these stages, particularly the first two that are most likely to take place while they are still working for us. This is especially important when it comes to helping our employees move through the stages of grief.

How do you go about doing that? When I write articles like this one, it is standard practice for me to do online research before I start. It's a shame to report that there wasn't much there. Under the heading "fire someone," there seemed to be a multitude of articles discussing the legal requirements, and many of these articles discussed the processes that need to be followed. For instance, the methods listed below were advised in one of the articles: Warning: documentation, documentation, and more documentation! When the time is right, Get the necessary documentation ready. 

Don't try to do it alone (ensure you have someone from HR there), Ensure privacy, Be brief. Be mindful of your tone. Investigate comments. Make it a memorable farewell. The five phases of grieving are only partially addressed by a few of these actions. Many of these may potentially be accomplished via the use of email while still achieving the desired effect and outcome. If all of these measures were taken, I can't help but wonder what kind of "feedback" the manager would get and whether or not there would be a "good send-off."

I'm not trying to give the impression that we don't need to address any of these concerns. For instance, you are responsible for fulfilling all of the documentation and legal duties that are relevant to the needs of both your nation and organization. However, it is important to keep in mind that the employee who was terminated is, first and foremost, a person just like you with thoughts and emotions that need to be handled. Keep this in mind at all times.

When it comes time to let someone go from their job, here are some things to keep in mind (of course, this is on the assumption that you have satisfied all of the other prerequisites):

Ask yourself this question before taking any action: "How would I feel if my supervisor came to me today and said-you're fired!" Create a list of adjectives that best encapsulate how you are now feeling.

If you were in a position where you were about to be fired, how would you want your employer to handle the situation? What actions and words do you want him or her to take? Take a moment to jot down a few of your ideas.

In the next step, jot down a list of terms that, in your opinion, best express how you feel about having to dismiss someone. Examine all of the words you have put down so far and choose two or three that you feel are the most powerful. Bear in mind, as well, how you would want to be treated in situations that are similar to this one.

Create a script for the first few lines of the dialogue, using two or three of the terms you've discovered.example: "I am having a very hard time with this. My stomach is in knots, and I can't shake the feeling that I won't be able to pull this off successfully.

The next section of your opening script will be determined by the events that have taken place. As an example, in the event of a "lay off," the communication would go something like this: "I have been informed that I must terminate the employment of a number of people." I am really sorry to tell you this, but your name appears on the list. Or, for a problem that is not related to performance, you may say something along the lines of: "We have spoken about my expectations for your performance, and sadly, they are still not being met." It is with great regret that I must inform you that I will be terminating your job. However you may feel about this situation is irrelevant.

Be cautious. You will only be able to write the first few words of the interview, but doing so is vital since it will establish the tone for the rest of the conversation.

It is quite possible that the employee will go back and forth between "shock" and "resistance" for the duration of the interview. The likelihood of this occurring is high. You should explain your reasons for the termination in a way that is clear and concise, but you should not engage in a conversation about explaining your reasons or the reasons of your company. If you do this, the employee will remain stuck in either of the first two phases, and they will not be able to advance in their career. The employee will only go to the acceptance stage if they are given the opportunity to engage in honest listening as well as straightforward inquiry rather than arguing.

When someone is let go from their job, one thing that is sometimes neglected is the fact that the manner in which the termination is carried out may have just as much of an effect, whether good or bad, on the individuals who continue to work there. They will be able to see how successfully or poorly the process is handled, and in all likelihood, they will get a first-hand report on this matter from one of their colleagues. The individuals who stay in the organization, who I am going to presume you want to retain, get a good look at the true people management abilities of both the manager and the organization while they are under the stress of dismissing someone. They will undoubtedly wonder, "Could anything like this happen to me?"On August 1, 2010, this entry was published.

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